Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I have tasted many bathrooms
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
