Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
