im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Randomize
