the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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