maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
