Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize