real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
home. puking in laundry basket.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
