I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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