i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I've blown a few things in my day
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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