I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
