Ambien. No doubt about it.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
