I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I am available for nakedness
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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