Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
