She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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