I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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