We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
