Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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