Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
