Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
