I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I understand Curling. That high.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
