meet me or not, i'm out of control
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
