she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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