I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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