She is in my trunk
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Can I color on your dick again?
Vodka?
Forever.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
