And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
