After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
