just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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