thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
