so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
