I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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