hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize