So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
