You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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