You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
