No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
