I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
