i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
