You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
