I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
