please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Everclear isn't food dammit
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