Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
