I want to have your abortion
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
