this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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