I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
