Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
