You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
