i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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