mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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