I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
