this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
