great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just high enough for therapy.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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