I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
