rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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