OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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