How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
