If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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