Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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