Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
