I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
