he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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