just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
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