Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
